WrestleMania 7: The Most Confused Mania Of All-Time
- Christopher Zeiner
- Dec 13, 2019
- 5 min read
A blog by A.J. Gonzalez
WrestleMania is the WWE's pinnacle show. It's the show of all shows and should have the biggest attendance and the best matches on the card to accommodate that claim.
In 1991, the WWF was in a paradox with the Persian Gulf War in full bloom. Earlier that year at Super Bowl XV, despite heightened security and frightened thoughts of the worst, the event went off without a hitch as the Giants narrowing defeated the Bills 20-19, thanks to wide right. The WWF had a similar predicament with WrestleMania 7 coming up. The plan was to hold it at the L.A. Memorial Coliseum, but there are two theories on why that didn't happen. One was that they were worried about the security for the event and the other was that they couldn't sell out the estimated 100,000 seats for the event. They decided to hold it at the Los Angeles Sports Arena. WrestleMania 7 had an unprecedented 15 matches on the card, which by today's standards is nothing because of the network and the company's willingness to have this event be long. Unfortunately, there were a lot of matches that were cut short because of time restrictions.
ROCKERS VS. BARBARIAN/HAKU
This was a good match to kick off WrestleMania as the Rockers were victorious in this 10 minute bout. Also, Hacksaw Jim Duggan was on commentary while Bobby "The Brain" Heenan was managing the Barbarian/Haku tag team.
TEXAS TORNADO VS. DINO BRAVO
This should have been longer. Only 3 minutes. Both competitors could have been bigger superstars in an alternative universe. Kerry Von Erich gets the victory here.
BRITISH BULLDOG VS. WARLORD
Why? Why did the WWF invest so much in this feud? The Warlord was huge and....that was about it. The Bulldog would be victorious, as he was during this program.
WWF TAG TEAM TITLE
HART FOUNDATION VS. NASTY BOYS
A very decent match as the Nasty Boys shockingly defeated the Foundation to win the titles. The WWF wanted to split up the Foundation after seeing that Bret Hart was the star of the team and pictured a singles run for him. After five profitable WWF title reigns, they were right. The Nasty Boys' post-match celebration with Marla Maples was funny to watch.
BLINDFOLD MATCH
JAKE "THE SNAKE" ROBERTS VS. RICK "THE MODEL" MARTEL
The feud started with Martel spraying Roberts in the eyes with his signature cologne "Arrogance". Roberts lived in darkness as his eyes were messed up. The match was your typical Blindfold Match. Booooorrriinngg. Roberts did get his revenge by using his patented DDT to defeat Martel.
THE UNDERTAKER VS. JIMMY "SUPERFLY" SNUKA
This was the first WrestleMania for a man who would be synonymous with the event. Superfly was clearly over-the-hill and it showed. Undertaker wins in a squash to start off a huge winning streak. Fun fact: The time for this match was 4:20.
CAREER MATCH
ULTIMATE WARRIOR VS. "MACHO KING" RANDY SAVAGE
Before the match began, the cameras zoomed in on the Brain as he looked surprised seeing someone in the crowd. It was Miss Elizabeth. The match wasn't a great wrestling contest, but it was emotionally driven as both competitors battled to the tee with careers on the line. Savage would kick out the Gorilla Press Slam, causing the Warrior to leave the ring and speak to the heavens above about if this was it for him. As the match continued, Savage executed five of his patented elbow drops from the top rope, only to have the Warrior kick out and decimate Savage with Gorilla Press Slams and shoulder-blocks. Warrior would put one foot on Savage's chest and point to the heavens as he secured the pin fall, thus ending Savage's career in the process. Queen Sherri would attack Savage after the match, until Miss Elizabeth jumped the rail and took out Sherri. Macho looked across the ring in shock, seeing Elizabeth. After minutes of wondering, Savage and Elizabeth would embrace as many in the crowd had tears rolling down their faces. It was a great moment for both.
TENRYU/KITAO VS. DEMOLITION
I like how used talents from other countries and many underused superstars during this WrestleMania. Unfortunately, time restrictions didn't do them justice. The Tenryu/Kitao tandem defeated a close-to-the-end-of-their-run Demolition.
INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE
MR. PERFECT VS. BIG BOSS MAN
This feud started when Perfect and Heenan made fun of Boss Man's mother. A serviceable match which saw Andre the Giant appear on Boss Man's behalf. At this point, Andre's body was deteriorating and had to walk with a crutch. Sad to see. Boss Man won via DQ, but didn't win the title.
EARTHQUAKE VS. GREG VALENTINE
This was a squash. Earthquake dominated the Hammer in this one.
LOD VS. POWER AND GLORY
59 seconds. Legion of Doom squashed Power and Glory in 59 seconds. The time restrictions are showing its face.
VIRGIL VS. TED DIBIASE
After years of torment and mental abuse, Virgil finally stood up to the Million Dollar Man, thanks to the support of a very injured Roddy Piper. The match didn't establish much as Virgil won via countout. DiBiase began to pummel Virgil after the bell. Piper used his crutch to hit DiBiase. Sensational Sherri came to the aid of DiBiase and destroyed an already beat up Piper. Virgil would make the save and urge Piper to get on his feet.
MOUNTIE VS. TITO SANTANA
Short match. Mountie gets the victory in a near two minute match.
WWF CHAMPIONSHIP
SGT. SLAUGHTER VS. HULK HOGAN
In 2017, Jinder Mahal won the WWE title to the dismay to many fans. They used this because of an upcoming tour to India. So, the WWF thought that the Ultimate Warrior's world title reign was below expectations and needed someone to take the belt off him. Enter the recently turned Iraqi synthesizer Sgt. Slaughter. Slaughter defeated Warrior to win the title at that year's Royal Rumble. Thus, making him the most hated superstar that held the company's top prize. His opponent at WrestleMania was the superstar that personified America, Hulk Hogan. The match was serviceable. Slaughter can sell though. Bouncing off turnbuckle and ring posts with precision. Slaughter would bloody Hogan and used the Camel Crutch to weaken him. He would then place the Iraqi flag on Hogan as he pinned him. Hogan kicked out and tore the flag. Hulk would destroy the Sarge with punches and big boots. One leg drop and pinfall later, Hulk Hogan was once again, WWF Champion.
So, why was this the most confused WrestleMania of all-time? I think the WWF had to go with a plan B after the Coliseum deal fell though. I wonder if they wanted a longer show, which explains the 15 matches on the card. Having Slaughter as the hated champion entering the event gave the company a chance for people to root against him, portraying the enemy of the war in the Middle East. Many believe the WWF used that to make money off it, but when hasn't WWE used a current event to make money. Warrior vs. Savage was a solemn match that drove some fans to an emotional roller coaster as it progressed. The Savage/Elizabeth embrace was a feel good moment for not only wrestle fans, but anyone who loves to see a happy ending. The rest of the card was rushed into time restrictions and really couldn't tell you the story in the ring as was hoped. I mean, WrestleMania 7 wasn't bad.
But it deserved better.
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